When he was 16 years old, Ashley Ryder got bored with taking cocks. There had to be something else, he told his friend, something more extreme and exciting, and soon, in a book of erotic drawings, he found an image of an asshole being stretched open, fisted, and a lizard being dangled near the gaping hole. He freaked out and became obsessed with fisting, with putting large items in his ass, and pushing, quite literally, his sexual boundaries. It set him on a path to becoming one of the UK porn world’s most truly uninhibited stars — gleefully tortured in group gangbangs, fisted and double fisted onstage and off, and taking enormous cocks without a note of resistance. Ryder wouldn’t have it any other way. “Don’t fuck me like your boyfriend, fuck me like you hate me,” he tells his many lovers.
Today, after eight years of building up a reputation as a performer at raunchy burlesque venues and in porn for companies like UK Naked Men, Eurocreme, Raging Stallion and NakedSword, Ryder has spent the last two years moving into directing, for BulldogXXX and Alphamale. Now a new crop of boys are being put through their paces by someone who really knows how to push their limits. His new film Penance features a priest who installs a glory hole booth in his confessional, and he’ll soon be starring in side project called “Fisted by the Stars.”
He’s made crossovers into the art world, appearing in risqué videos for other artists, and co-starring in a twisted, and critically praised film called Uncle David, with British performance artist David Hoyle. While in London this past weekend, I sat down with the legendary star to discuss his origins, the differences between American and English porn, and something he calls “dirty love nuggets.” Yes, we go there. You’ve been warned.
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Adam: So since I’m only here for a short stay, I was looking to interview legendary figures of importance in the British porn scene. Everybody said “You have to talk to Ashley.” But you’ve only been in the industry for like 8 years, right?
Ashley: Yeah. It’s been a really short time. But I kind of hit the industry with my shows first, before the porn. I was kind of known for sitting on big toys even before I became a porn star. I don’t even think of my self as a porn star because I did so few. I only did 20 movies. But out of those 20 they’ve become quite epic. The first one I did for Steven Prior, he had like, an 11 ½ inch cock and that scene now, still gets coverage. I think it won an award for best duo, seven years later. There’s a scene that I did two years ago, that was never gonna be released for Dark Alley but they just released it. It’s a foot-fucking scene, I take a hand and a foot. That’s gonna get me some notoriety as well. I’ve been lucky really, I haven’t had to do a thousand films to get known. I’ve only done a few.
Well the amount of things you’ve had up your ass kind of balances that out.
Ashley Ryder’s Ultimate Anal was one of the biggest sellers for AEBN, and they keep bugging the company I work for to rerelease it. Maybe I’ll do another one because toys are bigger now.
You mean, toys are literally bigger, or they’re more popular?
I can take an arm past the elbow, up to here. I’ve taken a foot, not fully. I need a dancer or ballerina who can do pointe to do it perfectly. Darcy Russell would be amazing. A Royal Ballet male dancer who’d be up for it. That’s how it’s kind of really gotten. My shows are more important than my porn. I do a show around the corner at The Box in Soho where I sit on a traffic cone. Four nights a week.
You sit on a traffic cone?
Yeah. Here’s the act. I’m a builder I come out of the ground from a manhole and I come up onstage and these two girls come onstage and I kind of show off a little bit and spoof that Diet Coke advert. I shake a can and spray myself, and then I give them one and they do it. It’s really amazing. Then I get a banana out and pretend to give a banana a blowjob. Then they do it. She gets her tits out and wanks with the banana and then I get a sandwich out and by that time the voodoo magic works. The sandwich represents her vagina. So I’m playing with the sandwich like it’s a pussy. They’re like, “Oh my god I can feel it!” Then I take it one step further. I think, right, I have them. So I get the traffic cone out and I lube up the traffic cone and they’re like “You don’t want us to sit on it right? I’m like, no it’s for me.” And I sit on it.
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Wow. Before you became known for your shows, you were involved in fashion, right?
I did one year at St. Martin’s in fashion and I hated it and left. I hated making clothing. I left that, and was working at Prowler, the corner sex and gay book shop and was escorting a bit on the side. People had asked me to do porn for ages, because I lost a load of weight when I came to London. I kind of caved in and did one movie, and it took ages to get released. And my friend asked me to do some pictures for his website, and during the photo session I got really bored with the top, and I was like, “Your cock’s not big enough”, even though it was really huge. But he couldn’t keep it hard. So I put my hand in my ass. So my friend who ran that website was like, “Come to New York and we’ll have you do a show.”
You performed at the Black Party.
Yeah. I was told it was going to be thirty people, in this quiet little venue in the middle of New York. I get there and it’s the Roseland Ballroom. I was like, “Shit what the fuck have I done.” I got so scared, but everyone there was amazing. I was carried through the main dance floor on a two-by-four by two guys. Candles all down me, like some kind of shot deer. Taken on to the stage, took the candles off me. Poured liquid wax all down my back. I was on all fours. The wax was way hotter than I thought it would be. And it washed down my back at once. My back turns red, and it starts to crust and dry, like I’m a wax statue. Then I stood up and we got the dildos and at the end, Adam Faust, who’s dead now, I think, and my friend who runs the company, they double fisted me and lifted me off the floor on both arms. They lifted me up spun me around and put me down again. That was the end. I came back to London. Sleaze booked me for a show. I did four or five for them. The London shows were great because I could see the audience. In London I kind of saw what the response was, and it really shocked me because people were climbing over the stairwells so they could get to the dance floor. So I said, well, maybe I could make some money on this. Let’s see what I could do. It was a time when London didn’t really do sex shows. Nowadays everybody seems to be putting a sex show in a club. It doesn’t matter where it is. It could be softcore or some really intense fucking onstage. Everyone’s doing it. Before it was harder to find, so I just did a solo show and toured with that.
I’d read that Cadinot and Bel Ami were the things that got you interested in porn, but when did the whole fisting thing start?
I got bored of cock at 16.
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So you were hooking up with guys from what age?
13. I worked in a gay sauna at 16. I also worked at the Christian coffee shop at the other end of the street. I would go between the two. They did a really good chicken sandwich in the Christian shop and they had really good cock in the sauna. I said to my friend at 16, “I’m really getting bored of this. There must be more to it than this if people are still having sex at 30.” 30 seemed a long way. I went into Birmingham, and I went into a shop like Prowler, and I saw a Tom of Finland book, and a Hun book as well. There were cartoons which were so amazing. I was like this is amazing, is this even possible? People putting hands in each other? There was one picture of someone’s hole held open and he’s tied to the floor of the desert and there are hooks in his hole and they’re dangling a lizard in, and I got so hard looking at that picture. I was like, “I want that to happen to me! That’s so cool!” I just went online and tried to look around and ask people, and tell people that I wanted to try it. People dismissed me. I lost friends over it. People were like, “You’re too filthy, we don’t like you anymore. You have to go.” I got ostracized for wanting to go down this route. Then I started to meet older men who were into it, but I got turned away loads because I had no experience. I remember one guy, I’d gone all the way down there from my student halls, about an hour and a half trip to his place. I got down to his place and he showed me all his toys and they were huge, and I was like, “People can take these? I want to do this.” The guy was like, “I don’t think we should play. You don’t have enough experience.” I was like “What?” I was 20 at the time.
He missed out on the fun of breaking in someone for the first time!
Exactly. So I remember standing on his lawn as he shut the door in my face, shouting at the top of my lungs, “If you won’t fuck me, how will I get experience??!!” His neighbors were watching. I got quite angry. I had to meet some real —
Creeps —
Yeah, Creeps.
When was the first time it worked?
When I was 18 I had two friends who did it to me. It was my birthday and it took ages, but it was kind of in and out and not all the way up. It wasn’t until I came to London that I started to have big things put in. I met a friend of mine, Bjorn, when I was 21, and I also met these two guys who lived in Tower Bridge, and they kind of trained me. I met them on a Sunday, and I wasn’t working at the time and I stayed for six days even though my flat was across the road. I kind of became their uber-bottom. I would drop everything. That was when my training really kicked in and I started going in for more depth. I was always a depth boy. I always liked to feel it going in more.
I was going to ask if the thrill is about width or depth –
It’s depth. Width is nice too, but I like it deep.
How old are you now?
33
Wow, we’re the same age. I’m thinking about where I was at 16 and where you were, and it was a very different place.
I was 16 and just wanted sex. It didn’t matter about the person, anywhere I could go to find sex I would go.
For me my only outlet was porn.
I had a couple of porn movies. One had a guy fucking himself with his own cock. I tended to like stuff that was really circus freaky. But then with the Bel Ami side of it, that was just because they were boys you never saw anywhere. They seemed like gods. The ideals of what youth and beauty should be. They kind of still have that concept which I really like. But for me it was just like, they’re unobtainable people. I think it’s the extremes I really like. Regular sex for me is fun. But if you can do regular sex where it becomes an extreme, then you’ve got me. If you’ve got a 14-inch penis. Or if you can power-fuck so hard that you can make someone cry. That extreme element. Oral sex is fun, but I prefer if you face-fuck my mouth like it was my asshole. You didn’t care if I was gagging or not. Just kissing and having a little wank, it’s nice if you are really connected to that person, but if it’s a stranger I’m like fuck it. I need that level of energy.
Do you also like the rosebud imagery? That’s the part that really grosses me out.
It depends. There are some photographs where you just think, “What are you doing?” I look through people’s profile pictures anyway and sometimes I’m like, why have you taken your picture from this angle? Is that supposed to turn me on? Same thing with rosebuds. There are some pictures that should be banned by law. As for my own, I have one that I’m quite proud of that I send to a lot of people. I think it’s quite cute.
Alright, for the purpose of the interview, I’ll look.
I think a rosebud can be attractive, I don’t think an entire anal prolapse can be attractive. I think mine’s quite cute.
I mean, it’s, you know… I’m not judging. I was a top for a long time and never found the right bottom and now I’ve switched over. So it’s fascinating to hear the other side of it from you.
But of course. How much of a bottom are you?
I like it when I’m with a guy that I feel comfortable with. I can’t just be like, “Spit and shove it in.” I’m real tight.
Bottoming is like a religion for me. It’s one thing I wake up and think about every day.
What do you think about it?
Fisting is a drug. To have a hand inside of me, to a point where I can’t think of anything else. I can’t do anything, can’t focus. I just have to get it inside me. Sometimes when I’m filming porn, I get these bottoms who come and they are really complaining, I’m like “What the fuck are you doing here?”
In the past, the only experiences I had with bottoming were pure pain –
That’s part of it, you know. Some people get fucked by big cocks and some by small cocks. There are cocks that hurt and there are people who don’t do it properly.
I’ve definitely have people who didn’t know where to put it when they put it in. For me, I’m bad doggystyle. I’m much better on my back.
That’s internal alignment.
What about you?
I don’t mind. I really don’t mind. I’ll push back into it. I usually wear the tops out. I’m like fuck me harder, come on. No gentle shit. Don’t fuck me like your boyfriend, fuck me like you hate me.
What about douching? Lets say I was going to fist you after this interview, how much time do you need to get ready?
I could do it with a water bottle in the toilet. But that’s because I’m a professional. Some people do the whole six-hour douche, but that’s pointless. No one’s going to go that far into your colon. There are three holes in your sphincter. The outer one, the one that’s the anus top, then you’ve got your large intestine, and then into the small. It’s three. That’s all.
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Ashley with Matt Hughes’ cock.
Where does the arm go to on you?
It goes all the way through and to the side and up around. Where the larger one joins with the smaller one. But that’s it. I’m a tube. It’s been pulled away from the wall lining for years. It’s kind of realigned itself. I don’t believe in the six-hour douching. I think it’s pointless. Especially if you’re only taking 11 inches of cock, which is the maximum people will ever take, you literally just need to do a simple douche of the first little bit. Also you’re inside someone’s ass. Shit happens babes. Don’t freak out if you pull out and there’s a little bit of corn on the end of your cock. It’s like, bad stuff happens. Wipe it off and keep going. Why is everyone so squeamish? I mean, yeah if you pull out and shit goes on the walls and everywhere, then yeah, that’s a problem.
That’s someone who doesn’t know what they are doing.
It’s happened when I’ve been drunk. I got asked to leave the sauna the other day. I was pissed [drunk], I’d been out with some friends. And it was like six in the morning and I drank a bottle of prosecco before I left the house. Went to the club, free drinks. Woke up in a cabin, being asked to leave. My towel was just filthy. I don’t know what happened. The glamorous lifestyle of Ashley Ryder… Haha.
Did your image take hold right away when you started doing porn, that you were this hardcore twink?
No, no one took me seriously. I would talk to people in clubs that didn’t know me and they would be like, “Oh shut up, you’re like, what? 16?” I used to use it to my advantage, to hide behind that. I could play the little dumb boy and just be like, “I’ve never had sex before.” People would believe that. To me, I was filthy through and through and through. I think that was kind of what made everybody a lbit more interested in me because I looked really clean cut but at the same time I was an absolute pig. It would shock people and I liked shocking people. Especially ten years ago when nobody would talk about fisting.
Having worked in America and the UK, I’m curious what you see as the differences between American and British porn?
American porn is way more into the body image, because you guys, although we do, over here, look after our bodies, not to the extreme level as in the US. It’s nowhere near the body level that the Americans have. But then again, our youth don’t tend to do so much sports, whereas sports is very important in America. For us it’s a little side thing.
Do you see any differences on set?
Professionally? I think the models from the UK that have gone over to America, come back with a different attitude to work because they usually end up seeing it as a career. In America you have way more chances to make it a career because there’s more companies to work for, but in the UK it’s really small. And there are all these different sites and not everyone will work with you if you’ve worked with someone else, but you know, there’s a shortage of models in the UK, because the industry isn’t nurtured here. Another difference is that the Americans come in and they’re hard instantly. It’s like where do you want me to fuck?
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Ashley with Steve Prior’s cock.
But don’t you give them Viagra, same as in America?
Yeah but they still take forever to get hard. There’s this new breed of models in the UK, who are doing you a favor. They come in and they’re like, “Oh you want me to sit like this? Ugh, god, I’m so tired.” It’s like, we’re paying you to do a job here, come on. People that say they’re a bottom on my sets, and it goes in for a minute, and they go, “Oh I have to stop, it’s painful! It’s painful!” I’m like, “Fuck off!” This irritates me. You want to be a bottom in a porn film and you can’t take cock for more than a minute? What is this, some private orgy you thought you were coming to? You’re working. This is a concept, you know? You will take cock until I tell you to stop taking cock, and when I don’t want you to take any more cock you will beg me to keep filming because you want to take more cock, that is a bottom on a porn set. Same with a top. They should be like fucking a hole in the wall, and you just go, “Come on Joe, the hole’s here now,” and position them. They should just be ready and on cue all the time. And that’s the Americans. The Americans are great. But they are working on years of heritage. They have the ability to host their own sites in America. We can’t do that here. We’re not allowed to host a site in the UK. We have to find outside sources.
Because of the new censorship laws?
Yeah. So many laws. They were even gonna pass a law where we can’t be the intellectual property changers . So even a blog, we can’t be seen changing the information on our website. We have to be a third party to our own company.
That’s absurd.
So our returns on films are not as huge as a company like Raging Stallion. I have to say since the demise of the porn, in a sense, with free streaming and torrenting, I think a lot of people are relying on back catalogues still. You know? Thankfully the company I work for has a huge back catalogue. We have to pay licensing to the companies and everything else but I think there are a lot of sites that are struggling. There’s a couple of UK boys who are great. Kayden Grey is amazing. JP is amazing. There’s a few of them. Also In the UK, man can’t live on porno alone. You know? You have to have a main job and a porno job. You escort. Your porn is your billboard. Theoretically porn is prostitution but with really hot guys. You get paid to have sex with someone who’s hot. You know. And at the end of the day when people say, “I’m a porn star, I’m not a prostitute.” I think, why not? Because that’s where you’re going to make all your money. Working for me on my film is like having a billboard in Times Square. I’ll pay for advertising, blog coverage, I have affiliation links, basically cover all your work across a thousand different sites, and suddenly you go from being a tiny little ad in the back of a magazine to — on everyone’s home computer as a downloaded file. That why, you can charge more. Some here make a thousand pounds a night. It’s a business and you have to treat it like a business. You can’t just swan through and think, I’ll do a scene here and another there. You quit your day job, but it doesn’t work like that. It takes a long while. You have to get established. If you can get to work for a studio, it’s amazing because you’re a caliber or two above the other guys. And it’s coverage. Also in America the models do make more money, but so what? I’ll do jobs for a hundred pounds and I’ll do jobs for a thousand pounds. Does it really matter? It’s a job. If someone’s paying you to do something, I mean… yeah okay, everybody has their own price and you shouldn’t be exploiting. Guys here do amateur stuff, bareback for 50 pounds and they have thirty loads in their hole –
Does that really happen here?
You hear stories about that stuff from people. “Oh I did it for 50 quid,” and people have their own reasons why they did that, but I think if someone’s doing it because they’re just naïve to the industry, and the industry’s taking the piss out of them, that’s wrong. But I think different prices for different work. You’re a freelance model.
Do you bareback?
No I don’t bareback on film. What you do in your life is your choice, and how you choose to live that way, as long as you’re aware of the consequences of the situation, then, freedom to live. I think there’s a lot of people who don’t have that level of self-respect to go get checked out and go and be responsible about their own sexual health and that kind of irritates. Nowadays anybody who says they’re negative I don’t believe. I assume everyone is positive and infectious. I think you don’t adopt that attitude until you are with them on the day of the test and even then it’s like they could have fucked somebody bareback the day before. You just need to be sexually aware. Bareback porn is fine, as long as you are totally, 100 percent aware of the situation and what’s happening.
Would you ever want to cross over and make porn in the states?
Totally. That would be amazing. I would love to do that. I’m learning all the time. I got the camera two years ago, and in that time, I’ve directed 20 films. I’m like a factory pumping them out. And Penance, my latest, that’s been in the ABN charts top ten for 2 months now. I’m really pleased about that, because it’s the first film where I challenged myself with a script. I was like, let’s see if I can get these porn boys to recite these lines. It was a lot of fun.
What’s the concept?
It’s a gloryhole movie. But I was really bored with gloryhole films because nobody cottages anymore. Nobody sticks their dick through a toilet hole in the wall, and there are cruisey places that happen in clubs, but it’s a really old school concept and it needed something to freshen it up a bit. I was like, where do you have a partition between two men? A church. I was like how about the priest has a gloryhole in his confession booth, so he can tell the guys, get down on your knees and pray. So I wrote the script in like a day. My favorite scene is the one at the end with Alex Silvers and Kayden Grey – that’s the first scene where I learned how to film stuff when things get difficult. Alex is a great guy to work with, but sometimes he has a problem with loads o dialogue. I needed to come up with a way also to have him look like he was saying stuff, but then I could get him to re-record the lines later. It took nine hours, six of which were dialogue training. It was fun. We worked into the early hours of the morning, and I have it on my phone, I carry it around all the time, because I look at it and it was the first thing where I realized, “I can make a movie. I can actually make a film, not just porn.” I like that balance.
So the major challenge was dialogue, and sometimes your other challenges are sex, and models that don’t want to do stuff, or say they’re one thing and are another.
Yeah, I’m really into reactions. We are so used to being able to see a dick going into a hole, that if you can – someone crying and someone laughing, and if you put a penetration shot in between, you have two different feelings. I like the crying one.
You’re describing the Kuleshov effect but with porn.
Yeah. I like challenging porn.
The other thing about the UK is that you have all these restrictive laws but –
It’s mental – I get hours taken out of my movies,
But there are more hardcore things going on. Like Straighthell.net for instance.
Yeah, but nobody saw that in the UK.
Nobody saw it here?
Not at the beginning no. You could torrent it but you couldn’t go to the site. Now you have Breeder Fuckers. It’s the same site.
It’s bareback?
No. They just rereleased all of StraightHell under a different website name. Breeder means straight person.
Oh, obviously, I thought of breeding in the other sense. Anyway that stuff is so hardcore. It’s kidnapping straight guys –
It’s all faked.
I know it’s all faked but it’s really good.
I know how they make them cry. It’s a TV trick. You have a special stick and it causes vapor. It’s a trick.
But in a way it’s great moviemaking for porn. You buy into this insane premise.
But also they don’t do DVD and that’s the difference. If I was to do films that didn’t need an R-18 rating certification in the UK, I could do a hell of a lot more, but I think they can do Breeder Fuckers in the UK is because they aren’t based in the UK. I don’t know if they’re still in the UK as a company. Who knows? They’re probably left. Tim Tales left. Cazzo never was here anyway. Loads of them are going. If you want to go down that route, you’re fucked here. Chances are I may have to go.
Would you come to New York? You’d have a lot of fun.
Yeah, totally. That would be cool. But I want to campaign for fisting here. I want it to be legalized.
It’s still not legal?
It’s still considered GBH.
Grievous bodily harm.
Yeah, I’m a little murky on the terms. There are still things we need to fight for. But I think we get complacent in the fact that everything’s fine. I don’t know. I used to think we were the forefront of stuff but I don’t feel that anymore. I do in certain areas. People are like, Oh we’ve got married now, we’re integrated, and I’m like, fuck that I never want to be integrated. I don’t want to get married.
You want to get fisted.
Right. I want to walk around in underwear and fuck everything in site. I understand marriage for legal reasons. You’ve been together a long time and the other one needs legal rights if you die or get sick. But why do I want to dictate my life from a heteronormative institution? There’s nothing in that that makes me go, “Yay, let me join that. It’s so cool.” I’m happy being single. I like being the lover. I say who, I say when, I say how much. I don’t want to have that picket fence. I’d love to have a big house with a dungeon. Lots of money, big house, private dungeon. That’s all I want. Some would say that’s really shallow.
It’s not shallow. It’s honest.
I carry a picture around, if I could find him, he’s what I want.
A big muscle guy?
Extreme. Not just a big muscle guy. Extremely big. I feel like I should have to hang out in steroid spots.
Come to the Chelsea gyms or West Hollywood.
I would love that. But remember they don’t live past thirty.
Do you have a dream actor who is your fist crush?
I’ve been fucked by Colby Keller and I’d like to get fisted by him. In an alpine lodge. That’d be very hot. In front of a fireplace. Maybe it’s Christmas time.
Call it Merry Fistmas.
I like Zeb Atlas too. I’m meeting Rocco Steele soon.
He’s so hot.
I want him to go deep. I’m gonna do some of my own “Fisted by the Stars” films. It’s gonna be me being fisted by lots of the big names in the industry. Rocco Steele is gonna be the first one. I’m gonna set up the camera. He’s coming over, and we’ll film an hour or so. I want arm and cock.
One of the things I’m most jealous of you for is that you got fucked by Matt Hughes. He’s my dream porn crush. He has an 11-inch cock. What was he like to work with?
He was really nice.
He’s straight right?
Yeah. Danny D is his straight name. It was fun. I may have been the second or third one to get fucked by him with him. But I can actually say that I was the first one to suck the cock to the base.
Wow.
He got really hard when I did that. He said wow nobody’s ever done that before.
Okay so now I want to hear your dirtiest sex story.
My dirtiest story? God… What do I want people to know, that’s the thing. There are some really filthy stories. I think I’ll let them be rumors. There are few quite extreme ones… I doesn’t feel filthy for me though. Being tied to a fuck bench in a club and having 20 guys have a go, that was kind of fun, but to me that’s an every day thing. I wouldn’t think twice about doing that. For somebody else that would be totally extreme. If this place, like suddenly turned super sexual, I’d totally bottom for everyone here. If people got naked and that statue came to life, and it was Mannequin meets Hot House, then of course, I’d totally bottom for every one here. Bukake the whole room, just fucking whatever. Me, I don’t find it filthy. It’s just how I am. Taking my clothes off in a public toilet when I was just turned 18 and my friends’ in the car outside and I’m being fucked by four strangers and I lie down on the floor butt naked and they shoot their loads on me and I put me clothes on without wiping off and I get back in the car and drive off. Or being taken to Paris when I was 22 and put on the bar of a sex club because nobody would acknowledge me. My friend was like you do this better than they can. And to put me on the bar and and I got fisted to about here. It wasn’t so deep then. Everybody wanted to know me. Or go to Berlin and being double fisted for an hour, totally pissed, standing on this platform, in my own world with this super hot German guy with really slim arms, and him just ruining me. I don’t know. Go to a French orgy where the bedroom was behind a bookcase. That was amazing. I was having sex with a bareback porn star at the time, and then he sent me an email about a party in Lyon, a scat party for guys under 30, and I never had the confidence to go, but I was always intrigued and he would send me pictures and the guys were like models, it was like Bel Ami meets French filth. That was too extreme for me.
Scat was too extreme?
It’s not my thing. I’ve tried it but I don’t like it.
You tried it?
Yeah I’ve given everything a go. Olives. Anchovies, whatever.
So you shat on someone or someone shit on you?
Someone shit on me. It was by accident to begin with, I don’t know how – I was rimming his hole and the next minute I’m like, what’s that? I call it dirty love nuggets. I spat it out and we just kept on going the way we were before. So I’ve tried it. I like olives, I like anchovies, but I’m not into scat.
Well I can only imagine the stories you’re keeping from me, given that those are the ones you shared.
Ha, but that to me seems quite normal. And I wonder sometimes if I’ve become numb to all of it.
I wonder that sometimes too, when I push myself. But my level is a little different from yours.
People say that to me — on my level, on your level, I appreciate that but I don’t see my level as being really high. And that kind of worries me sometimes because I think am I deliberately ostracizing myself from everyone else? Am I missing out on other opportunities? A few years ago I was like, why am I only looking for fisting tops? I spent my whole twenties experimenting with sex and finding okay I like olives and anchovies, and now I’m the same as somebody who only ever does vanilla bed sex. What’s the point of the last ten years if I’m only ever gonna meet somebody to get fisted, you kind of limit yourself. I like the option to be there.
But we all change sexually.
I still don’t want to kiss or hug.
When you’re 27 suddenly you start liking twinks instead of daddies. A year ago I wouldn’t have said I was going to become a verse bottom but I am, so I don’t know, maybe next year you’re going to be like —
Just hug me —
With a sweater vest and kids, and you’ll be married and registered at Sainsbury’s…
(laughs) I love Sainsbury’s homeware.
To purchase Ashley Ryder’s films, visit Eurocreme.
Adam Baran is a filmmaker, blogger, former online editor of Butt Magazine and co-curator of Queer/Art/Film. His short film JACKPOT, about a porn-hunting gay teen, won Best Short Film at the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, and was recently featured on The Huffington Post, Queerty, and Towleroad, among others. He is a features programmer at Outfest Los Angeles LGBT Film Festival and NewFest in New York. In his spare time, he complains about things to his friends. “Fisting for Compliments”, his weekly musings about the intersection of sex, art, porn, and history, will appear every Monday on TheSword. You can contact him at Adam@TheSword.com and follow him on Twitter at @ABaran999. Check out his previous columns in the Fisting For Compliments Archive.
The post Ashley Ryder Talks Cock Fatigue, Fists, and How Cute His Rosebud Is appeared first on The Sword.
When you say it’s competitive, who or what exactly are you competing against?
In terms of you being bi-curious, when did that all start. Were you hooking up with guys in high school?
What were your friends like growing up? Were you hanging out with gay people or mostly straight people?
When did you know you had a big dick?
How did you first get into it?
I remember when we had sex I had the same kind of reaction. Oh, yeah, he’s not Dad or whatever, he’s just a guy and we still have to vibe and get the energy together. Maybe it didn’t quite go that way.
Why did you leave your valuables in a place you didn’t know?
You’ve been doing this for how long?
When you were coming up in the world of porn did you have black role models, and was that something that was important to you?
They’re an extension of you, is what you’re saying?
Adam: So since I’m only here for a short stay, I was looking to interview legendary figures of importance in the British porn scene. Everybody said “You have to talk to Ashley.” But you’ve only been in the industry for like 8 years, right?
So you were hooking up with guys from what age?
What precipitated that? Did you want to be closer to Cockyboys?
So you said you slept with lots of porn stars. Can you name names?
You had a second chance.
Chad Hunt: We met on Gay.com about ten years ago. We talked a little bit and on my profile at that time I didn’t list who I was. I just talked to him as a regular joe and initially I had been dating a few people at that time. I just kind of let it go. We didn’t meet. Several months later we started talking again. I decided to go on a date with him and we went to an Indian restaurant in New York City. It was a nice date and so I decided to date him.
